Flowers for the Past

As the sun began to peek up from beyond the skyline, Faust was already awake and preparing to start the day. He slept little during the night and felt no need for it. If he was able to avoid dreaming, he would, despite the consequences of staying up. As he changed from his nightwear, he glanced at the painting of himself that lay on his table. Even after he told Akira he'd keep it and use it as a tray, he still couldn't bring himself to damage it. 

 

After all, he had many of his happy memories with the man who’d painted it. Even if he didn't want to remember anymore, he could still remember the times they would laugh over Alec’s clumsiness, or something Faust said that was out of character. While Faust tried to convince himself that those memories buried in the past didn't matter anymore, deep down, those happy emotions still undeservingly continued to burn. 

 

Faust finished changing his clothes, threw a blanket over the painting so he wouldn't have to look at it anymore, and quietly left his room. He had already informed the Sage that he would be out all day taking care of errands, but the calm silence of his morning broke when he found Lennox standing outside of his door. He had already changed into his outdoor clothes and seemed to have been expectantly waiting for Faust. 

 

“Good morning, Sir Fau–” Lennox greeted, but couldn’t finish when Faust brushed past him.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop keeping guard outside my door? You don’t have to keep following me. And stop addressing me like that,” Faust retorted, but didn’t add anything else. He already knew Lennox would follow him.

 

He always followed Faust by three steps, close behind but never too close. “Then, may I join you?” Lennox asked.

 

“Do as you please,” Faust responded. Lennox stopped walking, gauging whether to join Faust or not.

 

Faust didn’t stop to wait for him, proceeding down the stairs and making his way out of the manor. 

 

Before Faust was about to take off on his broom, he glanced behind him and noticed Lennox closing the front door, jogging over to him. “So you made up your mind,” Faust noted, and turned his gaze away, lifting into the air. “You can join me while I’m shopping, maybe you can buy some souvenirs for the kids.”

 

“I could… Mitile and Riquet asked me if I could get them something the next time I went out. I wonder what I could purchase that would make them happy,” Lennox mused as he summoned his broom and followed Faust into the air. Similar to how he would walk behind Faust by three steps, he followed within arm’s reach behind Faust. 

 

And so long as Lennox respected the gap between himself and Faust, the distance between them was acceptable. It was what he wanted, Faust reminded himself. “They’ll love whatever you get them. They adore you, you know,” He replied.

 

“They like you too, Faust. Everyone does.” Lennox returned the compliment to him, causing Faust to sputter.

 

“That’s not true,” he muttered to himself. He gazed towards the ground, almost in a trance, as they flew for the rest of their trip.

 

About an hour passed after they landed outside the markets, dispelled their brooms, and walked together toward the long streets of stores. “I’m going to be looking for materials I can use in my cursing rites. You should go look for gifts for the kids,” Faust told Lennox.

 

He shook his head. “I can look while I walk with you.”In response, Faust sighed quietly,  turning his attention to the store windows. He knew Lennox was still following behind him, always by three steps. 

 

Lennox’s close presence was almost suffocating. Faust kept his eyes on the windows to his side: not to look at the contents of the stores, but to gauge the distance between himself and Lennox. Even though they were three steps apart, he was still too close for Faust’s liking. The distance between them was a bitter reminder of how thoroughly his past haunted him. It made Faust scowl, his mood was worsening the longer he walked on. If only he had known what would become of himself, maybe Faust wouldn’t have led the life he lived in the end. 

 

Abruptly, a burst of bright colors caught his eye. Curious, Faust stopped to see what it was. What caught his attention was a bouquet that contained purple bellflowers, white daffodils, and sunflowers. The purple and yellow hues of the petals contrasted nicely with each other, while the white petals helped bring the colors together to create a lovely bouquet.

 

But the lovely sight made Faust scowl and turn his attention away. The combination reminded him of himself, but he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly bothered him. His eyes lowered at the thought. 

 

“Sir Faust?” Lennox’s worried voice spoke up. “Are you alright?” Reaching out, he gently touched Faust’s shoulder. Faust looked back at Lennox for a few moments. Lennox stared back, possibly even more confused than Faust already was.

 

“Let’s keep moving,” Faust replied. He turned and walked away.

 

Lennox hesitated, allowing himself to observe the flowers that caught Faust’s attention. Purple bellflowers, white daffodils, and sunflowers… They truly were lovely to look at. “May I purchase a bouquet?” Lennox called out to one of the florists nearby.

 

Meanwhile, Faust had moved on to shop for tools he could use for curses, or look at things he liked. Maybe he could look for accessories for the cats that liked to play nearby the manor. A bowl for them would be nice. …No, he was letting himself get distracted. A quick shake of his head brought him back to reality, and he resumed walking. 

 

“Dried flowers for sale! Useful for tea, or for pressing into books! Lovely decorations too!” A shopkeeper called out to the crowd of people walking by. The advertisement drew Faust closer. He strode past the storekeeper and into the shop to browse. There were many types of flowers, ranging from bellflowers to lilies, hydrangeas to agapanthuses; any flower one could think of seemed to be there. Faust raised his eyebrows at the wide variety of flowers, which had been laid out in trays organized by color and type.

 

He must’ve looked lost and unsure of what to purchase, because a storekeeper came up to him. Faust turned his attention away, but the storekeeper spoke to him. “Hello sir,” He began. “Would you like help in selecting flowers to purchase? Are you looking to buy some for yourself or as a gift?”

 

A gift? Out of the question. Faust tsked and shook his head. “I’m just looking for something to make a gift. I’m alright,” he responded.

 

“Of course, I’ll leave you to it. Ah, these yellow chrysanthemums would make the perfect gift though. They make lovely tea when brewed.” Having fulfilled his duty, the shopkeeper nodded and left Faust to browse while they found another customer to assist.

 

Now that he was alone, Faust took his time walking around. He spotted the yellow chrysanthemums the shopkeeper had mentioned and, with a bitter smile, gingerly picked them up. He’d never buy those for himself since they meant unrequited love. He didn’t need any reminders of his past life with Alec. But perhaps they would make for an excellent material to use in his curses. He picked up a few, put them in a bag, and carried on.

 

Nearby there were white gladioli, which caught Faust’s attention. They meant strength, loyalty, and moral integrity, which reminded him a lot of Lennox. And Lennox did join him, even if he stuck too close. Maybe a gift was due after all, and he could make a charm with them, too. He picked some up as well.

 

“Oh, Sir Faust. I’ve caught up to you,” Lennox spoke from his side; Faust turned to face him. He noticed that Lennox was carrying a large bag with a sheet covering its contents. Faust shouldn’t have cared about what Lennox bought, but he couldn’t help but want to take a peek inside.

 

…But that was none of his business, so he turned away and continued looking at the trays of dried flowers. 

 

“Shouldn’t you go buy gifts for the children instead of joining me? It’s depressing, to look at dead flowers with me,” Faust replied.

 

Lennox shook his head and picked up a dried aster. “It’s not depressing. Even when they’re dried, these flowers can still be used,” he spoke as he returned it to the tray.

 

Faust picked it back up and added it to the flowers he was already buying.

 

“Sir Faust?” Lennox looked over at him, puzzled.

 

“It’s for me,” Faust shot back and turned away. Lennox silently acknowledged this and stood outside to gaze at the sky while Faust completed his purchase. There was much to pay attention to, like how white and puffy the clouds were. How they followed each other when the wind moved them. He glanced through the window and saw Faust was still making his purchase, and Lennox repeatedly looked back at him, as if Faust would disappear before he realized. He noticed Faust briefly smile, which brought an end to Lennox’s spying.

 

Faust soon came out and joined him outside. “The shopkeeper was happy that I bought so much, so they gave me some tea bags for free. Here, you can have them to give to the children.” Faust held out a small box that fit in his hand, which was filled with tea bags. “Wait, why are you smiling?”

 

“I didn’t realize…” Lennox answered, slowly, as he accepted the teabags. “...well, you always seem to smile when something good happens.”

 

Faust shrugged and the two continued walking together, with Lennox following behind. “I’m done for today. Is there anything you would like to visit before leaving?” Faust asked as he cast a glance over his shoulder. 

 

Lennox had to take some time before responding, “Maybe a bakery. Mitile and Riquet would probably want something to eat when we return.”

 

Faust nodded and added, “We can buy something to eat, too. It’s nearly noon now.” 

 

Finding a bakery was easy for them. After entering, Faust sat down while Lennox looked carefully at the menu for something to order. At his table, Faust couldn’t help but analyze Lennox’s movements: the way he looked while he stared at the menu, the way his eyes lit up when he realized what to buy, how he slowly stepped up to the cashier to not surprise her with his tall height, how he softly smiled after stating what he wanted to order. He was kind, careful, and thoughtful with each gesture, as he had been all day. As he always was.

 

Faust turned his attention away and noticed a mirror that stretched across the wall. He turned to examine his reflection in it. The dark shades that hid his violet eyes, large clothes to hide his frame, and dark eye-bags were components that were Faust’s flaws. There was nothing glorious about him compared to Lennox. What about the current Faust seemed so appealing to Lennox? He scornfully smiled at himself, and looked away when Lennox sat across the table from him.

 

Lennox sat across from Faust and set a large blueberry muffin in front of him. “I bought this for you.”

 

“You didn’t get anything for yourself?” Faust asked him, and Lennox shook his head. Sighing, Faust split his muffin apart, and offered the other half to Lennox. “Here, you idiot. You have to feed yourself too, you know.” He took a bite from his half of the muffin. Lennox took the other half, eating it leisurely.

 

“I heard that there’s a flower field nearby,” Lennox suggested after he finished eating, while Faust was still finishing his portion of the muffin. “It’s a few miles away toward the East, so we could fly there.” He didn’t say anything else and looked down, unsure how to finish his request.

 

A flower field near the Eastern border… The location gave Faust an idea. “We can go together.” Faust accepted Lennox’s unspoken offer with a nod. Lennox briefly smiled in relief.

 

They left the bakery and walked toward the outskirts of the town in silence. Silence continued to follow them as they summoned their brooms and took off toward the location Lennox had suggested.

 

“We’ve arrived, Sir Faust,” Lennox spoke after some time had passed. Even while high in the air, Faust could see several patches of color. This area of Central Country sure did love its flowers. The patches gradually grew wider and more prominent as they grew closer to the field that Lennox suggested, and soon they landed nearby. The flower field was a sea of red, yellow, orange, and white hues, similar to a sea of fire. How fitting; even the sun was steadily beginning to set. And yet, Faust found the view breathtaking. 

 

“So it’s beautiful after all. Maybe if we had one of those things the Sage mentioned from their world. A… a, uh…” Faust racked his brain for the tool that he forgot the name of.

 

“A camera,” Lennox suggested, and Faust nodded.

 

“Yes, that,” he bluntly replied. Wanting to soak up the view, he didn’t speak any further.

 

“…Do you regret not letting me free you?” Lennox summoned his magic tool, the key to Faust’s cell, and gazed at it. The question came out of nowhere, Faust narrowed his eyes, and used the silence between them to think of an answer.

 

At the time, Faust had refused to let Lennox free him. Faust had blindly believed that Alec wouldn’t carry out the execution, believing that his “friend” would return to his senses and apologize. But he never did, and Faust was burned at the stake because of his own foolishness. He grew to hate Alec afterward, but could he ever truly, deeply hate Alec? Or was it himself that he hated?

 

The sun grew closer to setting on the horizon. “Do you regret obeying me?” Faust softly asked in return. Lennox’s response was almost immediate, much faster than Faust’s reply.

 

“Always,” Lennox answered and gripped the key in his hand. “I had the key in my hand, and I was right in front of you. But I couldn’t because I didn’t want to disobey the man I admired so much.”

 

“…I see.” Faust slowly stepped forward into the field, treading on a few red poppies. He continued walking as he watched the sunset in silence. Whether he was or wasn’t trampling flowers, he wasn’t paying attention anymore. “It’s a lovely view.” It wasn’t very admirable, but he still gazed until the sun was almost gone. He turned to find Lennox still standing close behind him. He hadn’t trampled any flowers at all. 

 

“There was something I wanted to show you, too. Do you remember the cave I told you about?” Faust asked, and Lennox nodded. “I want to show it to you.”

 

They took off on their brooms once more and with Faust leading the way, they flew to the outskirts of a forest which hid an entrance to a cave. Upon landing, Faust led Lennox directly inside.

 

“Satillquinart Mullcreed,” Faust murmured, and lit a fire in his hand that illuminated the cave. The walls around them were made of ordinary stone, but as they walked deeper, the caverns began to sparkle.

 

“I led the Sage and some of the others here to locate some gemstones, since they thought they could grant wishes. Too bad I had to prove they were wrong in the end,” Faust wistfully reminisced as he led the way deeper into the cave. “They were just stones that granted good luck. But we’re almost there, the place I wanted to show you.”

 

Soon after Faust spoke, they arrived in a large cavern. Faust didn’t need to use light to see anymore, as the bright and shimmering stones that adorned the cave walls were enough to light up the cavern on their own. They twinkled like stars back at them, a sight Lennox had never seen before. The view compared to the night skies he once camped under. It was like he was surrounded by stars.

 

Faust walked over to a wall and carefully chipped out a stone with his magic. Returning to Lennox’s side, he offered the other man a large, shimmering stone. “This is a thank-you gift. For joining me today.” He mumbled and looked away. “Since you showed me that flower field before. Now, make a wish.”

 

Lennox looked at the stone Faust offered and shook his head. “My wish has already been granted.” He replied with a shake of his head and pushed the stone toward Faust. “It was granted long ago, when I was summoned as a Sage’s wizard and was able to stand by you once again. You should make a wish for yourself instead.”

 

Faust scoffed, but he looked down at the stone in his hand. Was it really okay for him to make a wish? To grant himself good luck? He never felt as if he deserved it.

 

But Lennox pushed the stone toward him and wrapped his fingers around it. “I believe you deserve it.” He said as if he read Faust’s mind.

 

Faust couldn’t help but chuckle quietly and reluctantly nodded. “Fine.” He gripped the stone, and closed his eyes. 

 

“I wish for a future… where Lennox can finally move on,” He thought to himself, and could sense the spirits in the stone leave as he made his wish. “Let him live freely in the moment, so he doesn’t have to be haunted the way I am.” 

 

He opened his eyes and again looked at the stone. The dark blue color it sparkled had just faded into a dull gray. Faust pocketed the stone and cleared his throat. “Let’s return. I’m sure everyone else has been worried about you in your absence,” He spoke as he turned to follow the path they came from.

 

Before Lennox followed him, he pulled out a bouquet from the bag he brought from his purchase. It was a bouquet of sunflowers, purple bellflowers, and white daffodils: the very bouquet that Faust was looking at before. Lennox had said that he had no wishes, but he did have one. He murmured it to himself as he set the bouquet in the cavern's center and turned to rejoin Faust.

 

While Faust followed the path he came from, he thought back to the bouquet he’d seen earlier. He remembered that sunflowers represent good luck and long life. That white daffodils can symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, and purple bellflowers are a symbol of affection and everlasting love. The combination of flowers felt familiar, but he still couldn’t recall where they came from.

 

At the end of the tunnel, a white transparent figure shimmered. Two, in fact. The ghosts of two children ran past Faust and deeper into the cavern. “Alec?” he gasped, and turned around to see where the ghosts had gone, but found Lennox behind him instead. 

 

“Sir Faust?” Lennox replied with a confused expression.

 

Faust took a deep breath and turned around. It could’ve been a bad sign, maybe it meant his past still haunted him. Or maybe it was a good sign, maybe it meant there would be good things happening in the future. But his fate wasn’t for him to decide. 

 

“It’s nothing. I just remembered something unnecessary.” Faust responded.